Moore than Forever Read online

  MOORE THAN FOREVER

  Julie A. Richman

  All rights reserved.

  Copyright © 2013 Julie A. Richman

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Without limiting the rights under copyright(s) reserved above and below, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Making or distributing electronic copies of this book constitutes copyright infringement and could subject the infringer to criminal and civil liability.

  The scanning, uploading, and distributing of this book via the internet or via any other means without the permission of the copyright owner is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Brief passages may be quoted for review purposes if credit is given to the copyright holder. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  A Julie A. Richman Book / published by arrangement with the author.

  Cover designer: Robin Harper of Wicked by Design

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-one

  Chapter Forty-two

  Chapter Forty-three

  Chapter Forty-four

  Chapter Forty-five

  Chapter Forty-six

  Chapter Forty-seven

  Chapter Forty-eight

  Chapter Forty-nine

  Chapter Fifty

  Chapter Fifty-one

  Chapter Fifty-two

  Chapter Fifty-three

  Chapter Fifty-four

  Chapter Fifty-five

  Chapter Fifty-six

  Chapter Fifty-seven

  Chapter Fifty-eight

  Chapter Fifty-nine

  Chapter Sixty

  Chapter Sixty-one

  Chapter Sixty-two

  Author’s Note:

  For The Reader

  About The Author

  Contact Julie

  D.D.R.

  3/9/26-2/15/13

  The signposts were there. I just needed to follow them …

  sign•post

  [sahyn-pohst] noun

  1. a post bearing a sign that gives information or guidance.

  2. any immediately perceptible indication, obvious clue, etc.

  Origin:

  1610–20; sign + post1

  SCHOONER & MIA

  Now...

  Chapter One

  Kami and Seth were seated in a distant corner of the Maternity Waiting Room at NYU Langone Medical Center when Charles Sloan arrived.

  “Any news?” He tossed his leather bomber jacket onto the chair next to Seth, too keyed up to take a seat himself.

  “No, all we know is that she is in with Gary and we think he’s going to do an emergency C-section on her.” Kami took a sip of the lukewarm coffee she had picked up at an all-night grocer. Making a face, she wondered aloud, “Why am I still drinking this?”

  Pacing the waiting room, Charles casually surveyed the other occupants, although there was actually nothing casual about what the trained security professional was doing. Circling back to Seth and Kami, he stopped to ask them, “Do you know what time Schooner’s flight gets in?”

  “No,” they responded in unison.

  “I’ll bet he’s beating himself up that he is not here with her,” Charles was shaking his head. “Poor Meezie, how scary for her to be in there all alone after everything that has happened this fall. Thank God, Gary is her doctor. At least he’s a familiar face.”

  Seth was biting his nails, “I’ve been such a bitch to her for the past week. I feel terrible.”

  “She’ll love you again once she’s seen that nursery.” Kami patted his hand and Seth looked satisfied.

  “Let me find out when Schooner’s flight gets in. I’ll either go or I’ll send one of my guys to pick him up and bring him straight here.” Charles pulled out his phone and began texting, as he resumed his pacing.

  Charles: What time does your flight get in? I’ll have someone pick you up.

  Five minutes went by before a text came through to Charles’ phone.

  Schooner: I’m not on a flight. What are you talking about?

  “What the fuck?” was Charles’ kneejerk reaction. Looking at Kami and Seth, he was totally perplexed, “Would she not have told him? She told all of us.”

  “Maybe she didn’t want to worry him?” Kami conjectured, but knew that didn’t make sense the minute it was out of her mouth. “No, he would have been her first call,” and with a weary look, she shook her head, “unless she was really pissed off about something.”

  Panic flashed across Seth’s face as the other two looked to him for an answer. No one knew Mia Silver like Seth Shapiro, “Oh no,” he began dramatically, “I have a feeling Vindictive BBC is in the house.”

  “Shit, I need to call Schooner,” turning, Charles walked out into the hall.

  Schooner answered on the first ring, “Hey Bud, what’s up?”

  “When was the last time you spoke to Mia?”

  “About 9 P.M. your time. What’s going on? Is she ok?” Immediate alarm was evident in Schooner’s voice.

  It took a moment for Charles to process that Mia had not called Schooner to let him know that their son was about to be born, seven weeks prematurely. What the heck was going on?

  “I got a text from Mia a little before five this morning saying that her water had broken and she was on her way to the hospital.”

  “Oh my God. Is she ok? Is the baby ok?”

  “She’s in surgery with Gary right now. None of us have seen or talked to her, so we don’t know what’s going on.”

  “I have to get there. I’m going to drive up to LAX now and get on the first flight. Even then, I won’t be there until late afternoon. Shit,” he paused, “shit, shit, shit.”

  Charles could hear Schooner moving around on the other end as if he were quickly packing.

  “You’ve got to keep me updated.” Alarm had escalated to panic.

  “You know I will,” Charles reassured him.

  “Crap Charles, I had a huge fight with her tonight
. She wanted to know when I was coming home and I told her that I didn’t know. She was really upset and hung up on me and I didn’t call her back. Fuck, I could kick myself.”

  “Hey, no one knew this was going to happen,” Charles was trying to calm his friend, knowing he was about to get behind the wheel of a car.

  “Yeah, but she’s going through it alone and I’m not there for her. I’m going to miss Nathaniel’s birth. I’m not there for them. If something happens to either of them…”

  Charles could hear a car door slamming and an engine starting, “Schooner, be careful driving. Call me when you have flight info and I’ll keep you updated on events here.”

  “Hey Charles, if you see her, tell her I love her. And tell her that I’m on my way.”

  “I will. We’ll see you this afternoon.”

  Walking back into the waiting room, Seth immediately jumped on him, “You have that ‘Oh shit’ look on your face.”

  Charles sat down next to Kami and faced the two of them. “He didn’t know,” shaking his head. “Meezie didn’t call him.”

  “What?” Seth was shocked.

  “It seems they had a huge fight earlier tonight. She wanted to know when he was coming home and he told her he didn’t know. She hung up on him and he never called her back.”

  “Not a good move, Schooner,” Kami was shaking her head.

  “You know he’s kicking himself. He’s on his way to LAX right now.”

  “Yeah, but he wasn’t here with her, he’s not in there with her now and if anything happens to Nathaniel, he’s not here for it.” Kami put down the nasty coffee and stood up. She turned to Seth.

  “Don’t give me that look, Kami. I know how ugly this is going to be. She didn’t let him know. That is the ultimate fuck you.”

  As they waited for news on Mia and Nathaniel, a dark pall settled over them. Mia had drawn a line in the sand, and by not letting Schooner know, she was clearly telling him that she was ready to go it alone.

  “He was really just trying to do the right thing,” Charles defended. “The guy is a really good father.”

  Seth looked distraught. “He is. He takes it very seriously, but right now he is missing the birth of his son and the circumstances here are not optimal.”

  Trying to lighten the air, Kami was resolute on remaining positive, “They’ll work it out. They love each other.”

  Seth looked at her as if she were the ultimate BBC, “Oh please, have you ever met Vindictive BBC?” he shook his head. “My beautiful nursery may never get used.”

  Chapter Two

  Night had fallen when he entered her hospital room. Lights from the city’s buildings filtered in through the blinds’ slats, casting patterned shadows across her bed.

  Silently, Kami rose from a chair in the corner of the room when he entered. He went to her and gave her a hug.

  “Have you seen him?” her voice a mere whisper.

  He nodded. Even in the darkened room, the wet glint from his moist eyes was visible. “I held him. He’s so tiny and so beautiful. How is she feeling?”

  “She did well today. They’ve already had her up walking and she fed Nathaniel.”

  He nodded again and just watched her sleep.

  Putting a hand on his arm, “Call me if you need anything.”

  Schooner silently pulled a chair over to Mia’s bedside. He wanted to kiss her forehead, her hand, her lips, but he didn’t, for fear of waking her.

  It had taken forever to get to New York. As if the forces of nature had conspired against him, weather delays had backed up many major airports and planes had not been repositioned. Charles Sloan had given him the news that his son had been born. At four pounds-two ounces, Nathaniel was breathing on his own, being monitored closely in the NICU in an open crib with heat lamps.

  Exhaustion and the come down from adrenaline were taking hold. Silently, he lowered the railing on her bedside and pulled his chair in close. Laying his head down on the bed next to her, he closed his heavy eyelids.

  He had missed Nathaniel’s birth and she hadn’t answered his cell phone calls. His heart was heavy knowing the rift this was going to cause between them. Mourning a moment he had missed, a memory he had never created slashed at his heart - there was no way he was ever going to get it back - not through hoping or dreaming, his money couldn’t buy it, this was not a situation he could wheel or deal or charm his way through. Never would he share the memory of his son’s birth or be there to comfort Mia through the procedure. He would never be the first person to hold his son and he only had himself to blame for it.

  As he lay there with his head on the hospital mattress next to her, he mourned the loss of a moment that would never be born for him, memories he would never possess. And he was so disappointed in himself for failing her, yet once again.

  Feeling her stir, he realized that he’d been asleep. Her hand hit him in the forehead, and he took it in his and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly and holding it gently against his lips. Her grip momentarily tightened and her eyelids began to flutter, then open slightly.

  “Hey, Baby Girl, how are you feeling?” he smiled up at her.

  The corners of her lips began to curve up into a smile and then he watched as a veil descended over her eyes and her half smile rapidly receded. The blood in his veins chilled at her reception.

  “I held him last night when I got in. He’s so beautiful, Mia,” his eyes filled with tears.

  She did not respond and he went on. “I am so sorry I was not here for you, Baby Girl. I was trying so hard to balance everything and I clearly was not listening when you were reaching out to me. I feel like shit, Mia, and I’m devastated that I hurt you and that I wasn’t here for you and that I wasn’t here for Nathaniel. I missed possibly the greatest moment we could ever share.”

  Observing him with a detached glare, her voice was flat as she spoke her first words to him. “You chose to be with your family, Schooner.” She pulled her hand out of his.

  “You’re my family, Mia. Nathaniel is my family.”

  “Nathaniel is a baby you fathered, Schooner.”

  Stricken by her words, he sat there in silence. “I know you don’t mean that. You’re mad at me and disappointed in me, but I know you don’t mean that.”

  “You really don’t know anything, do you?” her eyes were hard slits, her face an impervious mask.

  “I know I didn’t just father him. I’m his father. I do know that. We’re a family, Mia. That I know, too.” His exhaustion was starting to give way to defeat and he was trying to fight it. “Baby Girl…”

  “Don’t you call me that,” she hissed. “Get out of here. I don’t want you here. Go back to California. Go back to your family. Nathaniel and I don’t need you. We’ll be fine without you. Get out,” she was screaming.

  A nurse rushed into the room, alarmed.

  “I’m just leaving,” he snapped at the woman. As he stood, a paper on the night table caught his eye. It was the form to be filled out for Nathaniel’s birth certificate. In Mia’s neat print was the name, Nathaniel James Silver.

  Gutted, he turned to Mia and leaned down. Taking her chin in his hand, his face an inch away, he stared deep into her eyes, “You don’t want to do this. You really don’t want to do this.”

  Her eyes widened at his unveiled threat, momentarily taken aback at his forceful words and their meaning. “Get the fuck out of here,” she spat.

  “With ple…,” he snarled, stopping himself mid-word, he checked his anger.

  Releasing her chin, he straightened up, his eyes never leaving hers. With his eyes locked on hers, he stood there for a long moment, then shook his head.

  “I am sorry.” Turning, he walked out of her hospital room without a backwards glance.

  Gary was standing at the nurse’s station commenting on a chart when he saw Schooner coming toward him. With a smile and a handshake, “Congratulations, Schooner. That’s quite a little warrior that you’ve got.”

&nbs
p; “A little warrior,” Schooner scoffed, “maybe that is because his mother is the goddess of war.”

  Gary laughed, “I’m going to start calling her Athena. That’ll really piss her off. What’s going on? Did she give you a rough time?”

  “She threw me out.” Schooner leaned against the nurse’s station, catching his breath. “She told me I wasn’t Nathaniel’s father, just someone who fathered him.”

  “Wow,” Gary’s brows knit together, “Athena was pulling no punches. Give her a day or two, Schooner. Her hormones are all over the place, she’s trying to get her milk to come down, she just had major surgery. Her body really doesn’t know if it’s coming or going. Add that on top of the disappointment that you weren’t here with her and the fear that something was going to go wrong, and that’s why you’re seeing this over the top response.” He clapped Schooner on the shoulder, “I’ll talk to her, but for now, let’s go visit your boy.”

  Schooner nodded. Overwhelmed and exhausted and in love with this tiny little person, he knew one thing for sure, he, Mia and Nathaniel were a family and he was not going to lose them.

  Gary walked into Mia’s room to find her intently focused on the breast pump the lactation specialist had left behind. On her chest was a blanket that Nathaniel had been wrapped in, his scent being used as a stimulus to help bring her milk down.

  “Frustrating, huh?” Gary smiled.

  “Nothing’s coming in yet,” Mia looked stricken.

  Gary sat down next to the bed and rubbed Mia’s arm gently. “Give it time, your body has some catching up to do. In the meantime, he’s doing very well with the donated breast milk.”

  Mia’s eyes filled with tears, “I want it to be mine, Gary.”

  He smiled, “It will be, Mia. Who would have ever thought my little wild child patient would have such a strong maternal instinct?” He gave Mia’s hand a squeeze and stood. The same piece of paper that had caught Schooner’s attention earlier now caught his eye. He picked it up, read it, then folded it and put it into the pocket of his white doctor’s coat.

  Sitting back down, his demeanor serious, “Ok, now I’m your friend of nearly twenty years talking to you. I’m not letting you walk out of the hospital with this,” he patted his pocket.